Aftermath
by DocMcRegals
Summary: The aftermath of Addison's abortion through Mark's eyes; AU. Oneshot


"Aftermath"

**Hey peeps!**

**So I'm back with another fanfic! I think this is like number 18 in all... wow I've only been writing fanfic for maybe 2 months and I'm nearly 20 fanfics in…wow! I am so grateful for everyone who takes the time out to actually read what I write. As long as you guys keep requesting and reading them, I shall continue to write...So this one is kinda 'off the dome' (the top of my head). It just sorta came to me out of the blue, its really random…when I say random, I mean I was on Facebook and boom! It just hit me… It's a Maddison fic, but for the most part it's centered around Mark, at least for the first half. I thought about it and I was like, 'we've heard Addie's side of view when it comes to her abortion, but have we really gotten Mark's perspective about it?' And thus 'aftermath' was born...On the show, we hear how Mark thinks Addison got the abortion because she didn't want kids; he thinks she was being selfish...in fact we can tell he's still upset about the abortion on the show because on Grey's Anatomy when Callie gets pregnant, he's very upset when the idea of termination comes up; he brings up Addison's abortion...and its VERY obvious on Private Practice that Addison may have regrets about her abortion, hence the scene in 4X19 when she talks about 'Ella'. I did this fanfic becasue I don't think Mark really gets what happens when a woman has an abotrtion, the types of things she goes through...… I looked up the information on abortion procedures to be accurate...I am in no way saying that I am Pro Choice or Pro Life and I am not encouraging either, it's just a fanfic, so please take no offense...All medical information comes courtsey of the American Pregnancy Association's official website...I think this may be my first fanfic that I don't like, maybe you guys might enjoy it, I don't know**

**Happy Reading,**

**Xoxo, Dee**

…

Mark Sloan sat in the brownstone of his girlfriend Addison Montgomery, waiting for her to arrive home. She had just told him that she was pregnant with his child a couple of days ago. He knew she probably was somewhere freaking out about it, because, well, their situation was a very delicate one; Addison was the wife of his best friend (and well possibly only friend), Derek Shepherd. He didn't quite know when his feelings for Addison really started to show (he'd had a thing for the beautiful redhead since med school, but she chose Derek over him and he was the bigger man for a change and let it go). Maybe it was all that damn time they'd spent together when Derek became too much of a dickwad to spend time with his wife. Addison was a woman who needed attention…lots of attention; attention was something she was used to, after all, she was a Forbes-Montgomery, and Forbes-Montgomery's got plenty of attention. When Derek couldn't be bothered or refused to put off a surgery, he'd send Mark over to comfort his highly upset wife. The two had been friends for a while, and Mark became like a brother/best guy friend to Addison; the two would often sit up for hours drinking and discussing their one common bond: Derek Christopher Shepherd.

Derek would often come home from surgery in the wee hours of the morning to find his wife and his best friend curled up on the sofa of his and Addison's living room, asleep…together…in each other's arms. Derek thought nothing of it because it was Mark: the son of a bitch wasn't capable of loving another human being, well besides Derek and his family; the only knid of love he showed women was love through sex. Derek paid it no attention when Addison no longer cared that he didn't come home after surgeries, when he didn't show up to important galas, when he didn't come with her when she went to visit her parents; Mark was always by her side. It became no surprise to either one of them, when they suddenly found themselves in a compromising situation one evening after a round of drinks at a local bar.

"I mean it Mark! He's an ass! An arrogant surgeon with a God complex…but I love him" Addison said, clearly over _her_ alcohol consumption limit (which was extremely high; one thing the WASPy Forbes Montgomery's were known for is how to hold their liquor)

"Alright Red, I'm not gonna take too much more of you dissing my best friend like that, wife or not" Mark replied as the two settled onto the couch, Addison grabbing 2 glasses from the cabinet, filling them with even more alcohol.

"Oh come on! Like you haven't sought about calling Derek a son of a bitch after all these years…you know I'm right Mark…you're just afraid of Derek, that's all" Addison smirked as she sat down beside him, filling their glasses with her favorite wine: Pinot (she made sure to have their maid Sylvia kept a cabinet full at all times whenever she went shopping).

"I am not afraid of Derek; in fact I used to kick his ass all the time when we were kids"

"Uh huh, that was before he was a big time hot shot doctor"

"I could still kick his ass"

"Sure you could Mark, I'm sure you still can" Addison smirked

"I could"

"Ok...if you say so Sloan"

"I could kick his ass if I wanted to"

"Yeah, and my mother isn't cold and heartless"

"I can! I'm serious Addison!"

"Uh huh, sure Mark whatever you say"

"Say I could kick his ass"

"No"

"Say it"

"No, because that would be a lie"

"You take that back Montgomery!"

"Mmmm…no! Make me Sloan" Addison said getting in his face

"You take it back or I'll make you take it back" Mark said pulling her onto his lap tickling her, causing her to squeal with laughter

"Okay, Okay I take it back, you win! You could so kick his ass" she said as Mark stopped tickling her and she remained in his lap…after a few moments, she rested her head on his shoulder, Mark wrapping his arms around her as they sat in a comfortable silence. After a while, she turned her head to look up at him

"Think you could kick his ass for me?"

"I'd kick anybody's ass for you Red, you're my girl"

"I am?"

"Yeah…I'd do anything for you Addison…you've got me wrapped around that rich little finger of yours…I think you might be the only woman who's ever had me whipped"

He told her as he gently stoked her face, making her blush. They stared into one another's eyes for a few moments before impulse took over and well…the next thing you know, Addison's straddling Mark in nothing but her panties, him in only his jeans, Mark's kissing all of the tender spots on Addison's neck Derek never paid attention to, causing her to moan out, his hands cupping her breasts, her arms wrapped around his neck, their lips meshing together, their tongues intertwined…

And that was how the secret affair of Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd and Mark Sloan came to be…that is until Derek caught them in bed together one day. He left Addison, moved to Seattle and from what they'd recently heard: he was living in a trailer, dating an intern...Mark rested his head back on the cool leather of the black sofa, his legs coming to rest on the coffee table as he waited for his beautiful redhead and their growing baby to come home. When she opened the door, he smiled, but his smile left almost instantly; he noticed a look of sadness on her face; it was one she couldn't hide.

"Hello beautiful…what happened Red? Did you lose a patient? Come on sit down, rest those feet, which are probably killing you because you insisted on wearing those damn loubitons to wrok, and tell me all about what happened" Mark said patting his lap for Addison to come and sit down. When she remained where she was, Mark instantly sat up, he could tell by the tears in her eyes, that this was more than just about work; it had something to do with their kid.

"Did something happen with the baby?"

"There is no baby"

"What?"

"I said there is no baby"

"What? What do you mean there is no baby?"

"I had an abortion today"

"YOU WHAT?"

"I did what I had to do…you weren't ready for this, to be a father, you'd…you'd just be a disappointment to it and to me….I'm flying to Seattle tonight"

"So you're going back to Derek? Addison, he doesn't want you back! He's living in a trailer…DATING AN INTERN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"I'm not going for Derek, I'm going for work, Richard called me; there's a woman with TTTS and he wants me to consult"

"And what happens with Derek? What you gonna see him, start bawling and beg him to take you back like the last time?"

"No…I'm giving him divorce papers…I had my lawyer draw them up this morning and send them to his lawyer who says they're fine"

"So then what?"

"Then…I don't know what Mark!"

"You are so fucking selfish!"

"What?"

"It's always about you and what you want!"

"What the hell are you talking about Mark?"

"This whole situation was about you, it always has been…you never planned on keeping it did you?"

"I thought about it, but then I realized…it wouldn't be right"

"It wouldn't be right? It wouldn't be right? Are you fucking kidding me Addison? Oh, so it wouldn't be right for you to have my kid, but it was okay for you to _ride my dick_ all those times! It wasn't right for you to have my child, but it was okay for you to call me all those nights Derek was in surgery and beg me to come over and make love to you 'Mark I need you to come over' it wasn't okay for you to consider my feelings when you made the decision to KILL MY CHILD, but it was okay for you to come over to _MY_ apartment the night Derek threw your ass out and strip me down and fuck me crazy! It was okay for me to throw away my relationship with my BEST friend and the only family I've ever know over you!…so basically it was okay for me to fuck you and throw my whole life away, but it wasn't okay for you to have my kid! Once again, it's all about Addison Forbes Montgomery, double board certified world class neonatal suregon who specializes in genetics...blah blah blah BULLSHIT! The truth is Addison, behind all those fancy names and titles, you're just a _selfish BITCH _who doesn't give a DAMN about anyone but yourself!"

"FUCK YOU MARK! FUCK YOU! You don't know what the hell it's like! to be there, lying on that table making a life and death decision like that! You don't get what it feels like to have some machine...YOU DON'T GET IT! having an abortion isn't an easy decision"

"Sure it is: either you want your kid or you don't, either you kill it or you don't; you took the easy way out...I gave up everything for you!"

"For me? You gave up everything for me? I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO GIVE UP A DAMN THING! I didn't beg you nor did I once force you to have sex with me, you did that willingly! You said it yourself; you've wanted me since med school! How many times did I catch you glancing at my ass or staring at my breasts _long _before the affair? I lost a lot too you know! I lost my husband of 11 years over you! The Shepherds were my family too! They were the closest thing I'd ever get to a real family because mine is too fucking emotionally stunted to give a shit about me! I didn't make you do anything you didn't want to do! And if memory serves me correct you _ENJOYED_ having sex with me! You didn't complain _any_! In fact you seemed to be enjoying me _riding your dick_! And let's not forget all those times you were _MOANING MY NAME _you stupid ignorant son of a bitch! 'Oh God Red, Oh shit Addison, That's it right there, Dammit babe, Oh GOD Addison, Fuck Red I'm about to cum!' you didn't seem to mind then! You know what Mark GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"FINE I WILL! YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD TO ME ADDISON! I HATE YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR KILLING MY KID!"

"GREAT! THAT'S FINE MARK! SEE IF I ACTUALLY GIVE A FLYING FUCK! OOOH MARK SLOAN DOESN'T FORGIVE ME! I DON'T NEED YOU TO FORGIVE ME!"

"I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL YOU EVIL BITCH!"

"YEAH WELL I'LL SEE YOU THERE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" She screamed at him as he slammed the door shut, causing pictures to fall off the walls; once she heard his motorcycle pull out of the garage, Addison burst into sobs...

...

She left for Seattle on what was supposed to be a simple consult, and never came back. By the time Mark got wind of what was going on he found out Derek never signed the divorce papers, and wanted to give his and Addison's marriage another try...the bastard had his Red living in a damn trailer! _'Good, just what she dessrves...something to pull off of her damn high horse' _he muttered to himself as he often thought about Addison. It dawned on him one day: what in hell exactly happens during abortions? he'd sat through a rotation in Gynecology during his residency, but refused to learn the procedure for abortions, not because he was pro life or anything, he just...Mark was more interested in being in plastics than being a member of the vagina squad. He'd heard people talk about how awful it was for a woman to go through a procedure, and how the decison would affect her for the rest of her life, and how it wasn't something a woman should go through alone. One evening he decided to look up information on abortion procedures:

_**Methotrexate & Misoprostol (MTX): **__a medical abortion procedure used up to the first seven weeks of pregnancy. This medication combination is not as commonly used in the U.S. with the availability of mifepristone, which works more effectively for this use. __**Mifepristone and Misoprostol:**__ a medical abortion procedure used up to the first seven to nine weeks of pregnancy. It can also be referred to as RU-486, the abortion pill and Mifeprex. _

_**Manual Vacuum Aspiration (MVA): **__a procedure used as early as 3 -12 weeks since the last period. Considered less invasive with only a local anesthesia being used on the cervix. _

_**Aspiration: **__a surgical abortion procedure used to terminate pregnancy up to 16 weeks from the last period. It can also be referred to as suction curettage, dilation and curettage (D & C) or vacuum aspiration._

_**Dilation & Curettage (D & C):**__ a surgical abortion procedure used to terminate a pregnancy up to 16 weeks gestation. It is also referred to as suction curettage or vacuum aspiration. _

_**Dilation & Evacuation (D & E): **__a surgical abortion procedure used to terminate a pregnancy after 16 weeks gestation. _

_**Induction Abortion: **__a rarely performed surgical procedure where salt water, urea, or potassium chloride is injected into the amniotic sac; prostaglandins are inserted into the vagina and pitocin is injected intravenously_

Reading this made Mark literally sick on the stomach. He instantly thought back to the horrible things he'd said to Addison the night she left. He knew it wasn't a decison she'd made lightly. he thought about how scared she must have been, being there all alone. He booked the first flight to Seattle; he had to talk to his Red...

...

Seattle, Washington- 24 Hours later

"Mark, what the hell are you doing here?" Addison asked him after his very public confrontation with Derek, during which Derek proceeded to punch the hell out of him, which left Mark needing stitches(which he did himself...arrogant bastard).

"I needed to see you Addison; I read some stuff about abortions and I came all this way just to tell you, that I know it wasn't a decision that you'd made easily and I'm sorry I said all of that horrible shit to you before you left...I don't hate you, I could never hate you" he told her

Mark's words instantly took Addison back to the day of her abortion...

FLASHBACK

Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd sat in a private medical clinic that evening on the upper east side of Manhattan, her legs crossed, her foot doing that nervous tappy thing it always did when she was either nervous or impatient (today she was both), her fingers slightly drumming the black prada bag sitting on her lap as she waited impatiently for her name to be called. She was relieved that it was after hours where no one could see her; all it took was a phone call to Savvy, who had a client, whose doctor performed abortions, all she had to do was give her name when she arrived at the clinic, everything else would be taken care of; the clinic was empty with the acception of the receptionist and the janitor who was so engrossed in his cleaning and the headphones in his ears that he didn't have a clue what the hell was going on. She sat there thinking for a while, one hand placed on the small swell of her stomach. She looked in the mirror that morning as she dressed; she could see the small bump starting to show, although Mark insisted that there was nothing to see, but she knew it was there. she sat in her car for nearly an hour, agonizing over what she should do; apart of her desperately wanted to keep the baby, but she had an image to protect, and she had to think of her husband, even though he'd moved to the woods and started dating a fucking intern. She also thought about Mark and what he'd think of her once he found out, but...he wasn't ready to be a father-not yet anyways. He'd just be yet another man in Addison's life to let her down, only this time there'd be a child involved who would have to endure the heartbreak of not having a father around. She was ashamed and embarassed and alone. How in the hell had a woman like Addison Shepherd fallen so far from grace? She was the foremost renound neonatal surgeon in the country and no she sat here, in this office like a commoner, trying to rid her life of this 'little indiscretion'. "Ms. Montgomery, the doctor will see you now" the young looking nurse told her as she stood and headed towards the back. It was the right decision at the time...

...

"Mark, I..." and before she knew it, she was in tears

"Oh red, I know, I know, it must've been hard for you to do it, to be there all alone, with no one to hold your hand...Shh, I'm sorry Addison" Mark said comforting her

"What the hell is this?" Derek exclaimed as she saw his wife and her ex lover(his former best friend) embracing

"Derek, this isn't working...it hasn't been working, long before our affairs...it was good while it lasted, but let's face it: we're both in love with other people...let's not kid ourselves anymore...just sign the divorce papers" she said looking at her husband

"Addison I..."

"No Derek, there's no need to explain; we let our careers get in the way of our marriage...we weren't having sex in New York and we sure aren't having sex here, we didn't even bother to fight anymore, we were both miserable...let's just put ourselves out of our misery and end it, like 2 civilized adults...I don't want spousal support or any of that, we can split everything 50/50 I am going to stay in Seattle; I signed a contract...let's just get this over with so that you can be with Meredith...and I can be with Mark" she said softly

"You really want that?"

"You don't love me anymore...I see the way you look at Meredith, you wish I was her...there's nothing I can do to change that...so I'm letting you go, go be with the woman who makes you happy Derek"...

...

Seattle Washington-Present day

Dr. Addison Forbes Montgomery stood at the nurses station of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital signing off on some final paper work before returning home to Los Angles when she was approached by the current chief of surgery, Dr. Owen Hunt

"Dr. Montgomery, I think these two adorable children belong to you" He said approaching her with two small children in tow

"What are you guys doing out of day care?" she asked her 2 children, Emily, age 5 and Noah age 4

"Daddy came and gotted us" Emily said

"Yeah, he said we were gonna go play at the park, but he got a page from the ER, he told us to wait in the conference room, but Emily started being mean" Noah replied

"What? I did not! Noah was mean to me first!"

"I was not"

"You were too"

"Was not"

"Was too"

"I walked past the conference room and they were fighting" Owen said over the children's squabble

"How do you think I feel? This is an everyday thing for me" Addison replied as Owen shook his head

"Good luck breaking it up...they're pretty violent those 2" He said walking away chuckling to himself

"You guys...hello? am I not standing here or something" Addison said to her two children who continued arguing

"HEY!" She shouted , causing them both to jump, then turn and look at her

"Sorry Mom" they said unanomously

"Thank you...now what happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened, it's the Montgomery curse, that's what happened, you and Archer cursed our kids with your vicious fighting cycle" Mark said as he approached his beautiful ex at the nurses' counter

"Daddy!" the children exclaimed

"Were you guys giving your mother a hard time...again?"

"Owen found them fighting in the conference room"

"Oh..."

"Oh...yeah you left them alone Mark? really?"

"I had a page down in the ER Addison"

"Well I was in surgery"

"Are you guys fighting"

"Again?"

"No, we're not fighting...we're just"

"Having a friendly grown up discussion"

"Doesn't sound friendly to me"

"Yeah me either"

"We are definately not fighting...now if you two are done trying to decide whether or not your father and I were arguing, can we please go have dinner please, because mommy is starving"

...

"I still think about it sometimes...my abortion" Addison said quietly as she curled up onto the sofa next to Mark in his apartment that evening as their children slept in the next room(they ended up missing their flight, but booked another set to leave early the next morning); although the two decided that them being a couple wasn't a great idea, they remained close friends(she still had him wrapped around her finger, even after all these years)

"You do?"

"Yeah...she'd be 6 this year, a year younger than Emily...Ella"

"Ella? how can you be so sure Addison?"

"A mother knows things...didn't I tell you Emily was a girl, long before the ultra sound proved it?"

"Yeah well that doesn't count, babies are your specialty"

"I could tell Emily was gonna be a girl looking at the ultra sound pictures from 6 weeks...and it is vritually impossible to tell the sex of a baby before 15 weeks, even if you are the best"

"...So Ella huh?"

"Ella, that would've been her name, she'd be in the first grade this year, she'd have the same gap in between her teeth as me...Ella Grace..."

"You think you and Sam will ever have kids?"

"I don't know...we're on the fence about it; he has Maya and Olivia, and I have our 2...it's still up for discussion"

"Does he make you happy?"

"I'm happy with him Mark"

"Does Lexie make you happy?"

"I'm happy with her"

The two would sit in a comfortable, yet akward silence until they fell asleep in each others arms just as they had when they were in New York long before the affair. Both would dream of that one decision and the aftermath it still carried, 6 years later. They both dreamed of Ella, and a life with each other in a world that would never be...

...


End file.
